sneaking feeling of failure is creeping in. So slowly it invades my thoughts, until it crescendo's into utter uselessness and disposition. Every day it is extinguished, and every night it is renewed. I' am tortured by the thought of helplessness involving my own desires. My mind is corrupted, to the point of violation, with the thought of absolute failure in every aspect of my life and I can't help but humor those thoughts. They attach and grow, festering like a fucking disease, inhabiting every motion and look and breath. How do I cope? How do I destroy this abomination of thought and return with extravagance to a living soul?

(Make this disappear with your eyes)

I hate humanity more and more. Your vile forked tounges never cease with their corruption. Constantly they spew out lies and deceit shrouded by dignity and honor. Such a shallow veil you gently place over the eyes of each other, yet none of you seem to want to look through the lace to witness these legged snakes that whisper so faintly seeds of doubt and dispair in your ears. You lie down while their demons dance and drink with your own. The overwhelming power of words has been loosed into mouths with seemingly wonderful intent, compared only by the sheer disaster waiting at the end of each sentence. Hiding behind my smile and bright eyes lies darkness, an all consuming woe and apathy. Such murky water I wade in right now, my soul soon to fade into destruction and remorse. I'am left with a shell of disgust and hate.

Is poetry dead?

I wrote something! But I have no idea what it's about. My current mindframe keeps me from understanding what I can see and distinguish. Tell me if it's good, bad, horrible, burnworthy. If its good please try and figure out what its about. Cause i would truely like to know.

I feel like I have let myself and my fellow deviants and artists down. I haven't had anything worth posting in months, and I honestly feel horrible for it. I am failing myself as a writer. Day by day I constantly think of anything to write, and I put it on paper, and it seems just disguisting.

I can't apologize enough for myself.